First of all, Yes, They exist!
You may or may not have ever heard of a Dark Empath but they absolutely exist, and you might have even met several throughout your life and not even have realized it because unless you understand what to look for they are easy to underestimate, even if you are Spiritually Awakened. They often like to target Empaths & Earth Angels so if you consider yourself either you might want to look at your relationships more carefully.
When you are dealing with someone who seems to be an Empath but they also have a very different side to them that makes them Master Manipulators they could be one of the Dark Varieties of an Empath but for today I am going to only discuss the most dangerous type of Dark Empath.
I call them Opportunistic Empaths
There is a pretty well solid line of characteristics that single them out from the other groups & types and it pretty much takes becoming a Victim of one, or seeing them victimize someone else firsthand in order to see them for what they are because they are the slickest of the slick when it comes to their behavior and they are often mislabeled as Narcissists but the true Narcissist doesn’t experience true Empathy Opportunistic Empaths do and that is what makes them so dangerous – they know exactly how to hurt you and you would never believe they are anything but your friend.
How can you recognize one?
So here is a small list of the many things to look for but these will be the most obvious characteristics.
- They can relate to you & your experience
- They generally are well liked and often have lots of friends and nobody has an unkind word to say about them.
- They absorb all of the emotions you feel just like a regular Empath & feel your pain with you. – They can put themselves in your shoes literally and they will carry your burden with you and offer amazing support.
- They will appear to try their best to be “very helpful” to you.
- They may have all the answers to your problems
So here is where the Darkness really starts showing.
- They will try to help you in ways that aren’t really helpful. They are quick to think up things to set you up to fail or make your situation worse in the long run but they do this in ways that make them look like they are really helping you and they really want the best for you.
- You will find that they collect every single detail they can about you to use against you later on because they love to see you miserable. They always have a mental chart prepared with all of your weaknesses in check so they can manipulate situations to their advantage & watch you fail as often as they can make it happen and of course, they will appear to be your Best Friend, Partner, Favorite Cousin, etc…
- According to the type of relationship you have with them, let’s use Romantic as an example: They will throw your secrets & past mistakes/trauma’s in your face every chance they get in an argument or confrontation but they are always sorry & didn’t really mean it..
Example of an Opportunistic Empath Friendship:
The names are changed but this is is a true story that happened to a former Client & she gave me permission to tell it.
“Brenda” confided to her co-worker “Mary” who she thought was her good friend that she just can’t stand “Mike” who works in her department because he makes unwanted & disgusting advances towards her near daily but she was afraid to say anything because Mike is the Bosses Son in Law, married to his only daughter.
Mary overhears the Boss telling Mike that he needs to take someone from their dept. with him for a weekend business trip so Mary secretly tells the Boss not to say anything but...
Brenda needs to pick up some extra time because she needs the money for her upcoming Custody Case but don’t want anyone to know about it and throws in that Brenda’s abusive ex COULD take custody of the kids because she failed a court ordered drug test “by accident” and suggests that he give Brenda the opportunity to go with Mike on this trip because she is so well qualified & needs the money but has too much pride to ask for help.
She was also smart enough to mention that if Brenda declined she herself would be more than happy to go in her place. So the Boss sees Mary as a great person/friend/employee.
***Brenda don’t drink or do drugs but she had a terrible tension headache the evening before her test & Mary had encouraged Brenda to take one of her “safe & effective” “Migraine Pills” (Which was actually a high dose Percocet but Mary didn’t tell Brenda what it was when she gave it to her). Mary knew exactly what she was doing when she gave Brenda that pill and knew the trouble this would cause and took great internal pleasure from watching the outcome but she played dumb & sorry when Brenda got in trouble- complete with big crocodile tears.***
Then Mary sits back and watches Brenda squirm when the Boss calls her into the office and sets it up & that evening she encourages Brenda to figure a way out of it because Mary doesn’t want her best “friend” Brenda alone with Creepy Mike.
Mary enjoys being her shoulder to cry on and gives her advice-the problem is, it’s terrible advice made up of pre-thought-out strategies Mary strategically put in place.
Brenda takes her up on the suggestion to wait until the very last minute to call the Boss with a cancellation excuse that she is sick & very dizzy, stomach problems, etc.. it looked like maybe she had the Flu so she just can’t go.
Now the Boss is pissed off at Brenda and thinks she is a bad worker, a bad parent, and on a possible drug binge & unreliable.
Meanwhile, Mary got the call from the now angry Boss to go in Brenda’s place and puts on the show to Brenda that she is really upset & put out about having to go so that Brenda felt guilty about Mary having to pick up her slack but secretly Mary is thrilled & came out smelling like a rose. Brenda ended up losing her job while Marry advanced to Management .
This really happened and I wanted to use this example because not every single Dark Empath you encounter will be a romantic Partner, they are everywhere.
So How Do You Avoid them?
I am so sorry to tell you that usually you can’t unless you are able to see through them while they victimize someone else or your Intuition warns you away from them. They are the most clever & sneaky people you will meet and notice I used the word Clever, not Smart.
I am currently putting together a segment on Dark Empaths with ways to spot them a bit easier so you can avoid the pain of becoming drawn in by one. Keep an Eye out for it soon!
What you can do however is be aware of these people and when the signs start showing up don’t second guess yourself when your Intuition tells you to avoid this person. In many cases, people become Victims because that is the only way to see through it.
I had a friend who did this to me for years before I finally caught on and she literally ruined my life for her own amusement over & over again just so she could be my “Fairy Godmother” and help me when it hit the fan. Looking back, the signs were so clear & obvious but at that time I thought she was really on my side. The final straw came when she set me up with an abusive man who was just like her just so she could help me when he beat me up and help him when I was hiding from him. She thrived on my broken life energy. To this day she still tries to re-connect with me but I went full NO CONTACT several years ago.
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